What a difference a day can make.
Thanks to all of you amazing women whose words of identification and HOPE cleared away so much of the darkness I felt yesterday. I have read those words over and over and attribute much of my change in perspective to the power of a community bonded by the cement of understanding, compassion and love. You all rock.
I also believe that every time we go through the roller coaster of hope/waiting/disappointment we go through a cycle of the grieving process that that what's-his-face guy coined, Ed somethin'? (what a dumby) and I am amazed, yet again at how quickly I go from the numbness of denial, to the fierce anger to the intense sadness and the land, somehow, on the feet of acceptance.
This happened all in a 24hour span??
Don't hear me say that I didn't have the shooting pain of sadness course my veins momentarily as I sat with a pg. friend last night at a birthday dinner...but, it surprisingly did not last. I didn't plaster the usual forced smile, you know the one- where you consciously tell the muscles on either corner to ignore the downward pull??!!! I actually spoke to her about her upcoming move to a family neighbourhood and was, um, strangely happy for her????? Huh?
Somehow after my 'release' to you guys, my women's group that I go to on living a spiritual life (where we are studying Tolle's The Power of Now) I actually got in my car, cranked the tunes and was peaceful, happy, and hopeful.
Not gonna analyze it, just going to take it and runnnnnnnn.
Thanks, yet again.